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Saturday, June 30, 2007
Went To Istanbul
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Annoy Your Stallmate
-Stick your open palm under the stall wall and ask your neighbor, "May I borrow a highlighter?"
-Say, "Uh oh, I knew I shouldn't have put my lips on that."
-Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks the silence with a bodily function noise.
-Say, "Damn, this water's cold."
Drop a marble and say, "Oh shit! My glass eye!"
-Say, "Hmmm, I've never seen that color before."
-Grunt and strain real loud for 30 seconds and then drop a cantaloupe into the toilet bowl from a height of 6 feet. Sigh relaxingly.
-Say, "Now how did that get there?"
-Say, "Humus. Reminds me of humus."
-Fill up a large flask with Mountain Dew. Squirt it erratically under the stall walls of your neighbors while yelling, "Whoa! Easy boy!"
-Say, "Interesting... more floaters than sinkers."
-Using a small squeeze tube, spread peanut butter on a wad of toilet paper and drop the wad under the stall wall of your neighbor. Then say, "Whoops, could you kick that back over here please?"
-Say, "C'mon Mr. Happy! Don't fall asleep on me."
-Fill a balloon with creamed corn. Rush into the stall with your hand over your mouth and let out a lengthy vomit impression while you squeeze the balloon and splatter cream corn all about. Apologize profusely and blame it on the fettucine alfredo you had for breakfast.
-Say, "Boy, that sure looks like a maggot."
-Say, "Damn, I knew that drain hole was a little too small. Now what am I gonna do?"
-Play a well known drum cadence over and over again on your butt cheeks.
-Before you unroll toilet paper, conspicuously lay down your "Cross-Dressers Anonymous" newsletter on the floor visible to the adjacent stall.
Lower a small mirror underneath the stall wall, adjust it so you can see your neighbor and say, "Peek-a-boo!"
-Drop a D-cup bra on the floor under the stall wall and sing "Born Free."
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