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Monday, June 4, 2007

Basketball Ring Girl

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RAF Joke

There was an English man, Irish man And a Scottish man who all wanted to get into the RAF.So the English man went up to the Sargeant and asked him how to get in the RAF so the Sargeant told him you had to go blow up a building without anyone seeing him.So that night he went to blow up a building and he went up to the Sargeant and said 'I've blown up a building without anyone seeing me and Sargeant said 'How many letters in the alphabet' and he replied '26' so the Sargeant said 'right your in' and the next day the Scottish man did the same and replied with 26 so he was in too.And the day after the Irish man went and did the same but replied with 24 so the sargeant said 'You must be bonkers cause theres 26' but the Irish man said 'You must be bonkers because I've just blown down B & Q!'

Ricky Martin

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3 guys in a sauna

There are three guys in a sauna. All of a sudden there is a beep. so guy number one slaps his hand, and guy number two asks what that was. Guy one says he got his beeper implanted in his hand. He goes off and reurns his call. A little while later he comes back and hears a cell phone jingle, and guy number two puts his hand up to his ear and starts talking. Later, guy number three who was not to up to date on this new technology asks what that was about. Guy two said he got his cell phone implanted in his hand, because he kept losing it. Guy number two walks out of the sauna and says he has to get one up on theese guys. He returns to the sauna and has three feet of toilet paper hanging out of his butt. At the same time guy one and guy 2 ask what is that, so guy 3 says DON'T BOTHER ME I'M RECIEVING A FAX.

Redneck Campfire Grill

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Gennie!

A couple went golfing one day at a very exclusive course lined with million dollar homes.
On the third tee, the husband cautioned, Honey, be careful when you drive. If we break one of those windows, it'll cost us a fortune to repair.
Of course, she immediately shanked her drive right through the window of the biggest house on the course. The husband cringed, I warned you to watch out! Now we'll have to go up there and apologize and see how much that lousy drive is going to cost us.
They walked up, knocked on the door, and a warm voice said, "Come on in". When they opened the door they saw glass all over the place and a broken antique bottle lying on its side near the broken window. A man reclining on the couch asked, Are you the people that broke the window?
Uh yeah, we're very sorry about that, the husband replied.
"Oh, no apology is necessary. Actually I want to thank you. You see, I'm a genie, and I've been trapped in that bottle for a thousand years. Now that you've released me, I'm allowed to grant three wishes. I'll give you each one wish, and I'll keep the last one for myself."
"Wow, that's great!" the husband said. He pondered a moment and blurted out, "I'd like a million dollars a year for the rest of my life."
"No problem," said the genie, "You've got it. I have already put a million dollars in your bank account. It's the least I can do."
"And now you, young lady, what do you want?" the genie asked.
"I'd like to own a gorgeous home complete with servants in every country in the world," she said.
"Consider it done. The deeds are now in your name" the genie said.
"And now," the couple both asked in unison, "what's your wish, genie?"
"Well, since I've been trapped in that bottle and haven't been with a woman in a thousand years, my wish is to have sex with your wife."
The husband looked at his wife and said, "Gee, honey, you know we both now have a fortune, and all those houses. What do you think?"
She mulled it over for a few moments and said, "You know, you're right. Considering all that, I guess I wouldn't mind."
The genie and the woman went upstairs where he ravished her for the rest of the afternoon. Both satisfied each other repeatedly, and afterwards, the genie rolled over and looked at the wife and asked, "How old are you and your husband?"
"Why, we're both thirty-five," she responded breathlessly.
"No shit! Thirty-five years old and both of you still believe in genies?"

Sausage Fashion

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Very Drunk

A man is in his local pub pissed having a last orders drink.He tries to go home but relizes he's to pissed to walk.He crawls all the way home and then crawls to bed...The next morning his wife wakes him up and asks him if he's been to the pub.How did you know that{he asked}. Cause the pub have phoned...YOU HAVE FORGOT YOUR FUCKING WHEELCHAIR

Santa Thief

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Midget

A man walk up to a woman in his office and tells her that her hair smells nice.

The woman imediately goes to her supervisor's office and tells him that she wants to file a sexual harassment suit and proceeds to explain why.

The suervisor is puzzled by this time and says, "What's wrong with your co-worker complimenting on ow your hair smells?"

The woman replies."He's a midget"