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Things Not To Say
Things not to say to a naked woman
1. Cool, I’ve never been to the Grand Canyon.
2. How many storage boxes can you fit in there?
3. You must be very experienced.
4. Remember, you said this was a freebie…right?
5. Wait let me get a board and a rope so I don’t fall in.
6. I gotta take off my watch, wouldn’t want to lose it
7. Why do you wear a bra when you’ve already got a belt?
8. Would you mind rolling around in this flour?
9. I heard carpenters dream about you.
10. So this is why you’re supposed to judge people on personality.
11. Look…I can get my whole arm in.
12. It’s a good thing you have so many other talents
13. Is that an optical illusion?
14. If I look right at it I feel like I’m falling in
15. Would you mind wearing a paper sack on your head?
16. Do you mind if I wear one too…in case yours falls off?
17. Jeez…what ya got up there dead fish?
18. I heard you could suck the chrome off a trailer hitch.
19. Have you ever thought of working in a sideshow?
20. I’ve been wondering all night what that smell was.
21. Maybe if I get really wasted I won’t mind your body.
22. You know they have surgery to fix that.
23. Everybody down at the bar said you were good.
24. Oh, that’s why they call it the wonderbra, it makes those lines go away.
25. Huh? They told me your name was Jezebel.
26. I expect a good time; at least, the bathroom wall said so.
27. You’re not as ugly, as people claim, not quite anyway.
28. You’re not that fat.
29. I see why everyone said, with you, it’s better with the lights out.
30. Wow, you like it the same way your little sister does.
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