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Tool Murders
The judge asked the defendant to please stand. "You are charged with murdering
a school teacher with a chain saw."
From out in the gallery, a man shouts, "Lying bastard!"
"Silence in the court!" the Judge says to the man who shouted.
He turns to be defendant and says, "You are also charged with killing a jogger with
a shovel."
"Damn tightwad!" the same man in the gallery blurted out.
"I said QUIET!" yelled the judge.
To the defendant, "You are also charged with killing a mailman with an electric drill."
"You four-flusher!" the man from the gallery yelled.
The judge thundered at the man in the galley, "If you don't tell me right now the reasons
for your outbursts I'll hold you in contempt!"
The man answered, "I've lived next door to that man for ten years now, and he never
had a tool when I needed to borrow one!"
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